So I think I have started a habit of meditation! I am not so good that it happens every day, but probably 9 out of 10. Sometimes its done as I go to sleep at night. I started with the Oprah and Deepak 21 day Challenge, but continued on my own with the help of an app called Simply Being by Meditation Oasis.
Have I noticed any changes? I am sorry to report that the only real change I have noticed, is that I seem to want to meditate!
I still have a constant stream of thoughts running through my mind. I still become antsy to get going with my to do’s about 14 1/2 minutes into the meditation, so that the last 30 seconds is an exercise of self control.
I have not found inner peace or my “life purpose”.
It does give me a few minutes of feeling less rushed and more focused. Then I see a clock and realize its almost time to pick someone up and I’m back on my hamster wheel, running as fast as I can, never really getting anything done.
In the past month Pinterest has caught my interest. I know, it’s been around for a while, why now? Well, I was busy with productive procrastination, organizing or reorganizing things that could wait, so that I could avoid some distasteful things that really needed to be done and I came across an article I had clipped about creating a vision board. It seemed like a really cool thing to do–using pictures instead of goals. Something easy and pleasant to look at.
I got a notion that I could do a vision board on pinterest, and set about setting up a private vision board. I spent some time setting up the board and figuring out my goals for my life. It is a work in progress, not at all complete, but it is a start. I do not like the way the board works on Pinterest, since I haven’t found a way to move things around and group them.
I did find out that you can print the board and the pictures are tiny, but perfect (1-2 inches either way), so they could be cut out for a super cute, inspiring vision board that doesn’t take a lot of space. It too is a work in progress. I cut out the pictures and started pasting them on a large white paper. I learned some things. One is that aesthetically, this is not pleasing and it is my wish to start over on black paper!
I learned that my vision is not well balanced and is maybe pretty self centered. I have spent my adult life taking care of clients, children, spouses, and sometimes friends or charities. Most things I do on a daily basis are done because someone else wants or needs them done. Things I do for myself are always done to a background of guilt, because there is so much I “should” be doing for others. So maybe its okay that it turns out that at this point in my life, service to others isn’t well represented on the board.
But still, when I look at it, I am “bugged” by the lack of balance. What seems like long ago, I was a person who wanted to be of service to my country–not as a soldier or politician, but to contribute to something that endures. Either through betterment of our legal system, or active educated participation in the political and legislative process.
I am going to try to open my mind to inspiration in that direction. Meanwhile the board will have to be lopsided. I have always believed that you can have it all, but not all at once! Service will come later.
At any rate, I am excited by this board, which is much more fun than written goals and is inspiring me to look beyond my myopic life. There’s more that I want to add and of course, I want to ‘pretty’ it up!
Earlier this year I wondered if my son’s conversations which often include the phrase, “when we get rich” were actually affirmations. Since he said it so strongly and so often, will it really happen? I am sure he says it to prevent his very practical parents from saying that whatever new idea he has is too expensive. This way he can keep talking about his plan and avoid the whole money doesn’t grow on trees talk.
I decided not to tell him that he had to quit saying, “when we get rich”, but I did suggest he not say it at school. He told me the other day that he had not told anyone, but that he did tell one of his friends that he had a BIG secret. And the BIG secret is, of course, that we are going to get rich.
He has suggested several different plans for “getting” rich, and I always feel mean when I explain why the plan won’t work. Like our house is not zoned properly plus we don’t have enough parking to have a train museum that people will pay to see (probably not enough trains either, though that may be close!). Or that while daddy probably could build a nice toy, he would have to build and sell millions for us to get rich. And why Daddy can’t just build one and charge a million dollars for that one toy.
He doesn’t let it get him down so far–he just keeps working on new ideas. And I guess he’s getting a bit of an education too. Zoning, price and demand, and manufacturing are not generally covered in kindergarten.
He is starting to make plans for the money: He is going to buy tickets on the Titanic II when it is complete. He is also going to buy a real General Lee (Dukes of Hazzard car) He has even asked if I will drive him to school in it, since he will be too young for a license!
Unfortunately even though he is not rich (yet), the power is already going to his head! His favorite thing to say to his sister now is: If you don’t do _________, you won’t get your part of the rich. Yes rich is a noun, he is only 6 after all. Is it too late to get him to internalize morals?
So again I should probably stop him, but part of me feels like he’s my winning lottery ticket, so I don’t.
For me affirmations are a bit like meditation. I think there is something too them, but I don’t seem to have what it takes to actually practice. So I am letting him be my little experiment. If it works for him, you can bet I will give up on the meditation and start my affirmations!
As I may have mentioned previously, I don’t seem to be able to manage to clean the house and go to the grocery store, much less create a new career, or perhaps just a weekly blog. At any rate, spring fever struck and without any conscious decision, I quit blogging altogether and spent the last several weeks catching up on paperwork, housework, menu planning etc. Oh and I also did the Deepak & Oprah 21 day Meditation to Perfect Health. I had every intention of blogging about my meditation trials and tribulations so that all of my readers (hi Mom!) could sign up with me while it was free, but alas, instead I took 28 days to get through the 21 days of meditations and I didn’t blog at all. So there.
Did it work? I am happier, but that may have something to do with the fact that it was sunny and warm enough for shorts and I went for a run yesterday. Did I achieve perfect health? I am not exactly sure what that is, but in my world it includes feet that can run without pain the next day. And that I do not have.
I did have a lightbulb moment where I realized that when it comes to meditation, I am the “missing link”.
There are all sorts of people who think meditation is bunk, there are a lesser number who think there might be something to it, but don’t manage to get around to actually meditating, and there are a few who meditate regularly and seem to make a lot of money telling us wannabe’s how life altering meditation is. And then there is me. I have actually devoted time to researching and practicing this art, and well, I can’t do it. I must have too many brains, as the thoughts just won’t stop!
However, what I did notice this time is that my thoughts sort of stream from one to another without any analysis or stress, just as they do when I am running. So while I do not get the physical good feeling, mentally, meditation seems to relax me somewhat like running does. The effects are not as long lasting, but then, I don’t meditate as long as I run, so maybe. . . Hmmm, not a chance. I have manage to improve to the point where I can sit without twitching for the full 15 minutes and even feel relaxed for the first 14 and a half, but that last 30 seconds, I am ready to GO!
Okay, so this is way old, and my husband even got the lawnmower out yesterday, but my blog posts seem to be running just as late as Mother Nature this spring!
Here is the picture taken January 1, 2013:
Happy New Year!
And here is the video taken March 20, 2013, the first day of spring:
So I think I have started a habit of meditation! I am not so good that it happens every day, but probably 9 out of 10. Sometimes its done as I go to sleep at night. I started with the Oprah and Deepak 21 day Challenge, but continued on my own with the help of an app called Simply Being by Meditation Oasis.
