Maybe I need to write a book called ADHD Meditation. I do think I am getting better at this, and I also think it is weird and a little frightening that I would need or want to practice NOT thinking, when so many of my mistakes already come from not thinking, or at least not thinking about what I should be thinking about: driving, for example—that light meant a 4 way stop didn’t it?!
At any rate, simply commanding myself to focus on my breath was not working. My sister (did I mention we have a bet going regarding who can meditate the most, with a 20 minute per day maximum?) said that she was using some breathing technique where you breathe in for 3 counts, hold for 7 and exhale for 8 counts. Or something like that. Me being filled with so many brains, found that mere counting was insufficient to retain my attention, so I decided to come up with words in place of the count. This is easier said than done. Only three things to bring in when I am lacking in so many! I finally settled on peace, love and purpose. I didn’t know what to do with the middle part, so I kept counting. For the exhale, I have so many negatives to get rid of, but the words were too long to actually use 8, so I limited myself to 4: fear, anger, regret and resentment.
While this helped some, my mind still wandered about, thinking of all I needed to do, all I wanted to do, why I keep staying up late etc. In order to focus it more, I had to add a visual. I tried for white light coming in and during the 7 count, the light pulsing throughout my head and entire body, pushing the grey bad qualities to, well, I guess my lungs, where I would then exhale them. Since I had to breathe in right away I found myself thinking that I was breathing those bad things right back in—so I had to add little sound effect (in my head) of the bad things sizzling and disappearing as a poof when they hit the white light I was about to breathe in!
A lot to think about in order not to think eh?
